


The way he looks

by ChristinMKay



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Phil's thoughts, Staring, i have no idea how to tag this, love eyes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 08:23:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7707859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChristinMKay/pseuds/ChristinMKay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>People have noticed the way he has been looking at Dan lately. But Phil can't help it, he never could.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The way he looks

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I wrote this drabble really quick, I am a bit rusty regarding writing, English is not my native language, and I am a dyslexic, so sorry for any mistakes.

Phil only has a short peak at the comments on his new video, a rough overview on twitter, and a quick glance on tumblr. The fans loved it, various gifs of him and Dan are floating through the internet. It’s no surprise, Dan called him precious, they look ridiculous in their costumes, and the video is filled with banter. 

Phil is about to close his laptop. It’s late in Hong Kong, the flight was exhausting, and he is not keen on being jet legged  the next few days. But then another post on tumblr catches his eyes. It’s about how Phil is starting to share more about himself, how he is cracking dirty jokes, laughing full in the camera, and how he is looking at Dan. Their fans always discuss Phil looking at Dan and vice versa, but this particular post points out that lately, Phil has been looking more and more at Dan during their videos. Especially compared to last year.

Phil smiles. It is true, he is looking more often at Dan now. He plans to look at Dan quickly, but then he always looks longer than originally intended. And the short looks turn into longing stares. 

Phil can’t help it, he doesn’t expect the fans to understand. They don’t know what it feels like sitting only inches away from Dan. Sure a lot of them have met him and Dan, but that was only for a few seconds. Phil is able to sit next to Dan for hours, even has to do sometimes, for example during their flight. But he doesn’t mind. He loves looking at Dan.

People always compare Phil to the sun, but little do they know, he thinks. Little do they know how radiant Dan shines. The camera does capture his bright smiles, but only Phil gets to see the sparkle in Dan’s eyes that accompanies his laughter. 

Phil loves to look at Dan, he loves to make out all the little details that paint Dan’s face. He has discovered the sad dimple long before the Phandom. He has never called it sad dimple though. For him it has always been connected with happy times and warm memories. Warm is also how Phil feels sitting next to Dan. Everything about Dan is warm; his soft smile he thinks Phil doesn’t see, the startled grimaces he pulls when Phil is being weird again, the suggestive winks at the camera. Dan thinks Phil doesn’t see any of this, but Phil catches everything. 

He has always loved looking at Dan. Back when they first met he couldn’t take his eyes off the shy, lanky teenage boy, he prior had only seen on the pixilated screen of his computer. To be honest over all those years, Phil has never stopped taking his eyes off Dan. He never could.

People describe Dan as loud, and Dan is. For Phil though, loud has always meant bright. It is a paradox, he sometimes thinks. How can someone who only wears black clothes, who never lets any colour in, beam as light as the sun? 

When the people on tumblr say that Phil is looking more than usual at Dan they are wrong. He has always been looking at Dan. At some point he just started hiding it, glanced secretly at Dan, like a child  peeks into the living room on Christmas Eve. While filming, he did not allow himself to glance too much, but while editing his eyes have always been glued on Dan.    
When the people on tumblr say that Phil is looking more than usual at Dan they are also right. Lately Phil has shown them how much he looks at Dan. Dan, who is loud, and shining, and always present. Nobody will notice if I look at him. All eyes are always on Dan, why shouldn’t mine be there too? 

Did he make a mistake, Phil wonders quickly. Should he really have looked at Dan like that? His eyes wander to the sleeping Dan on their hotel bed. How could he not? Things are slowly changing anyway. And Phil is getting tired. He loves looking at Dan, because he loves Dan. And he is tired of denying himself what he loves. 

They both are testing the water at the moment, dipping their toes in. Dan, obviously, does it louder than Phil. It is because they are different, because they approach things differently. Only that when they look at each other, they both see a human as bright as the sun. One of them is not the night, and the other one is not the day. They are both light, and maybe that’s what love does to you. It turns the other person into light, light that warms you, that heats things up once in a while. Light that can also burn and blind. It has happened to them in the past, they are not proud of it. But things have changed. They have changed. And Phil thinks he has a right to look at Dan. If everybody saw Dan like Phil does, they would not wonder why he can’t take his eyes of Dan. They wouldn’t point out that Phil has been looking at Dan more often. They would just sit there in awe, like Phil does, and they wouldn’t want to hide it either.

Phil closes his laptop, puts it away, and closes his eyes as well. His eyes will have to rest, they have another day of looking at Dan to pend, and hopefully not just the next day, but the rest of Phil's life.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave kudos or comments if you liked it or have a cheeky glance at my  
> [tumblr](http://fallenfortherighteous.tumblr.com/)


End file.
